Life Changes

So much to catch everyone up. Well, I'm not going to try, but I will hit the high points.

As most everyone knows, several things have been going on in my life, in our life. I have been unemployed since mid-November 2008 - 14 months, and it has done total havoc on my finances. In the end, it was obvious I was heading for bankruptcy.

At the same time, Nancy's and my relationship had fallen apart, not because of the finances solely, but due to a lot of things.We weren't talking, we weren't sharing life together, and we sort of separated a year ago, more separated a few months later, really separated 4 or 5 months ago, and the divorce was final yesterday, 20 January. I bring that up here, because it ties into the first topic. While there are no guarantees, because we did have three joint credit card accounts that could cause problems, by divorcing first, it provides Nancy a fairly high chance at remaining solvent and not being forced into bankruptcy. If I had filed first, before the divorce, it would have significantly reduced Nancy's chances.

The good thing out of all of this is that Nancy and I have been talking more in the last several weeks than we have in years. We're remembering and rekindling the friendship that was so much of our relationship, and we are committed to retaining that, even growing it while leading separate lives. Could we at some point get back together? Possible, but highly improbable. Could we remain friends, supporting each other, caring for each other, the rest of our lives? Highly probable.

So, yesterday the divorce was finalized. Friday, 22 January (Good things have happened to my on the 22nd of the month, most notably, Nancy and I were married on 22 May 1976), my attorney will submit my bankruptcy petition.

Today was an emotional day. Though we were divorced yesterday, we truly went separate ways today, as I left for Walla Walla this afternoon shortly before 5. It changes everything. Even when we were separated by law, we saw each other frequently, were still sharing the same spaces and lives. But now, we will be separated by 2000 miles, and may only see each other once a year, who knows. Nancy and I expressed the same feelings the last day or so - we signed the divorce papers yesterday, no big deal. When we got the papers back where the judge had finalized the divorce, again no big deal. But, when it came down to the moment where I was actually going away, where we were no longer going to be seeing each other, able to call on each other for help, except for that help that can be provided through phone or internet, that broke me - the tears flowed, my heart shook, my emotions overflowed.